PRESS RELEASE: Man up, Becks

Ah... this is a great story.

Upon realising that his soccer stardom can not last forever, David Beckham has started making plans for the future, wanting to branch into television once his on-field career draws to a close. However, it seems Becks has come across a small glitch in his grandiose plan.

His voice is too high-pitched.

Bah ha.

(On a purely selfish level, this brings me a small level of satisfaction that even the most beautiful of 'the beautiful people' suffer from issues with their self-esteem. I'm going to sleep so much better tonight.)

Anyway, to rectify his troublesome tonsil situation, Becks is joining bobble-head wife, Victoria in voice-coaching classes which aim to deepen his high-pitched tones and improve his accent. It seems Victoria has worked out that being British can be a bit of a draw card with Britain's Daily Star newspaper printing,

"Victoria knows being British can be an asset in the States, but only if the American public can understand what you're talking about."

Gosh, that gal is cluey.

Victoria was first to jump on the self-improvement bandwagon when she began attending 'facial lessons' and voice classes before guest starring on American Idol. The aim of these private tutorials was to teach Vic to properly pronounce her words and minimise the severity of her pout, in an aim to, quote:

"come across more human."

Now, is it just me or does something smell a bit off about that statement? Call me callous, but I think a woman whose head is noticeably out of proportion with her matchstick size body needs to do a little bit more than some "How now brown cow's"and the occasional smile to come across as human.

Like, I dunno, maybe putting some meat on her bones?