KH COMMENTARY: Embrace Thy Boobies

Boobs have been receiving some pretty bad publicity over the last week after Brynne Gordon's sashay down the Brownlow red carpet in a Swarovski studded bra left eyes bulging and tounges wagging. The barbie of boyfriend Geoffrey Edelsten, Brynne was far from camera-shy as she clutched her million dollar fiance and flashed her million dollar smile, million dollar bra and million dollar boobs at the snapping paparrazi.

But what met Brynne the next morning, apart from her own boobs being splashed across every newspaper, magazine and media vehicle in the country, was a firestorm of opinion over her fashion faux pa. While Brynne appears less than concerned over the matter, her boobs continue to cause a controversial stir.

Mia Freedman on her webiste, Mama Mia, posted a story by The Age's fashion editor, Janice Breen Burns which explored the prejudice behind big boobed women and their inability to flaunt through fashion like their A and B-cupped counterparts. Janice writes:

"It's double-D cup standard that Susie Elelman,
WIN television presenter and regular butt of public criticism for her own ''fashion faux pas'' knows only too well.

'If [Brynne Gordon] were one of those teensy weensy young women in barely a bit of cloth, they'd say, 'Doesn't she look elegant, doesn't she look knockout?' '' Elelman complains. ''I thought she looked elegant; she didn't show anything that was inappropriate. She looked beautiful.
But, I suppose people would expect me to say that."

As a fairly buxom blonde myself, (not that I trot around showing them off in Swarovski-infused underwear) I think it's about time someone gave voice to those big-breasted among us and good on Brynne Gordon for using her actions, rather than her words. As cliche a WAG as she looked, Brynne is being ridiculed for the same crime the little-breasted WAGs get away with every year - wearing a slip of clothing which covers only what is has to and is later deemed as 'elegant'.

For big-breasted women, the situation is not as sheer. When you're carrying around a pair of C or D-cupped boobs beneath your T-shirt, you're going to look like a porn-star no matter what you wear. It's a 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation as Brynne clearly discovered. If she had arrived wearing a full-length parachuting jumpsuit, her boobs would have still been big enough to poke out an eye and cause a similar media sensation.

Because when you have big boobs, there is no where to hide. No matter what you do or where you go, they are always going to be there on display like a museum exhibit. I don't care what men have to think or say about the subject - big boobs are not God's gift to women (or men) - they are a burden. They get in the way. They attract unwanted attention. They have to be cared for with practical 'over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders' so they don't succumb to the pull of gravity later on in life. And most of all, they get you in trouble, to which Brynne Gordon can vouch.

I think women have enough self-esteem issues and criticisms about their bodies as it is without adding additional pressure about what size boob is considered appropriate to flaunt. Take a look at all the other women who attended the Brownlow medals and the percentage of those which are tanned, stick-thin models or model-look-alikes. What kind of message are these women sending about embracing your body for the right reasons?

So as someone who often hides her boobs away out of an attempt to minimise wandering eyes, I say, good on you Brynne Gordon for having the confidence and the self-esteem to visually say, "Here are my boobs. If you're going to look at them, you may as well have a damn good look."

(Image Credit: Brynne Gordon at the 2009 Brownlow Medal at Crown Picture: Fiona Hamilton - http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/gallery-fn422eni-1225777750118?page=9)